Tuesday 3rd October 2017
The view from this window is like a moving postcard. I watch the blue horizon and the low waves that are queueing up to break on Porthminster Beach, where the morning dog-walkers are scuttling back and forth.
The town of St Ives looks small from here, stretching out onto the peninsula, and I wonder what sort of wave could… No, don’t think about that. Everything is perfect today.
I had some deep sleep last night, only waking twice – yes, that’s good for me. Each time I turned over I thought for a moment that I was at home. Don’t tell Continue reading
Wednesday 4th October 2017
I am sitting in a restaurant on my own and have never felt less lonely. Why doesn’t everyone do this? Well, I suppose not everyone is introverted – and many introverts would still feel uncomfortable eating alone in public, because of the dictations of society.
When I’m by myself, I tend to feel awkward if I don’t know exactly where I’m going. I worry that someone might steal my bag, and my senses are heightened, as if I’m on red alert. It’s wearing.
So, this is a breakthrough for me. I don’t know why it’s been different today, wandering Continue reading
Aunty and I sat in a café area at Paddington station, sipping deliciously-milky lattes, with our bags safely tucked under the table.
‘Do you love to watch people?’ she asked, peering over my shoulder. I knew I’d chosen the wrong side of the table.
It seems we have far more in common than a big nose. ‘Yes! It’s the best thing ever.’
‘Some extremely glam people here…’
I smoothed down my dress and flicked a stray lock of hair (well, one of them) behind my ear. ‘Love that about cities; such a mix.’
We were soon walking down Platform 10 and boarding the next train, with its almost deserted carriages and much bigger seats than the previous ones – they made me feel as if I’d shrunk in the wash!
As we passed Exeter, our eyes were drawn away from our books to the Continue reading
Aunty and I are on the train to London Euston. First Class; a first for me! We have already raided our goody bags and I’ve managed to consume the heavy brioche muffin (or whatever it was).
I have a slightly nervous stomach, or perhaps that’s because I’ve already written my journal on the rocking train, and I’m excited. It’s as if I’m heading home.
I wonder how I feel this way when I’ve never lived in Cornwall and probably never will; I haven’t even visited for sixteen years. Yet here I am, on my way to St Ives, home of the Continue reading
I haven’t been wearing much makeup recently. I’ve been wearing more casual clothes too, and I feel good about it.
There’s something freeing about going ‘bare-faced’ when in the past you would have been reluctant to leave the house without makeup. I should be completely honest, and say that my skin is a little better than it was, which makes it easier.
It’s not just that, though. I am more confident in general. And, unlike my teenage self, I realise that everyone has much more important things to worry about than the state of my face! I now enjoy not wearing makeup – it’s far quicker to get ready, I don’t have to spend ages trying to remove mascara from my lash line, and I feel like myself. Pretty good, I’d say.
This morning, I felt differently. It’s been a rough Continue reading
I suggested to Mum that we buy and prepare our own meals this week – just for a change.
‘Hasn’t there been enough change?’ she said.
‘Yeah…But I think it might be fun. I’ll still make the stir fry on Monday, if you want?’ I bargained. ‘And I’m going away on Saturday anyway.’
We’ve just got back from Waitrose and I’m preparing the stir fry and chatting to her about different kinds of therapeutic writing, while she puts her food away. I’m glad to see that she chose to treat herself.
I’ve put two plates on the worksurface, two sets of knives and forks on the table, and we’re about to sit down together.
Jonathan has been in university for two days. I didn’t know how I would feel, aside from big-sister pride, because this is new territory. As I flip the chicken in the wok, my thoughts become reflective…
I had wondered why I’d wanted us to prepare our food separately this week. And now I know: Continue reading
There it was: Notre-Dame. An impressive cathedral. You had to be impressed by the Gothic architecture, with its towering presence, rows of statues, and incredible detail, as you stood outside with hundreds of people from all over the world. You had to be impressed by it. It’s Notre-Dame.
We took two photos and then joined a long queue. Unlike those encountered at airport security, French customs, and the RER ticket machine, this queue was quick-moving: free admittance. The herd of humans pushed in.
I enjoyed studying the effects of tourism in my Geography A-Level, and I found the issues flicking into my mind as I approached the world-famous landmark. Environmental damage, or environmental protection…etc. Someone bumped into me from behind.
‘Which is this?’ I pondered.
As soon as we reached the entrance, I wrapped Rach’s cardigan around my waist, out of respect for the ‘No Shorts’ sign. No one complained. I was aware of it as I walked around though, keeping as much of my legs covered as possible – not that my shorts were as short as a couple of the skirts that made it in! Disrespect for locals’ values.
We studied the signs and each little chapel, and were in awe of the stained-glass windows. Cultural preservation. I wished that more people would Continue reading