I’m Done with Academics

Wednesday 27.3.19

My fellow students have started to discuss the Creative Writing PhD. I won’t be signing up for it after the MA. There are things that could make me change my mind, but this is how I feel at the moment.

I’ve realised in the past couple of years that I’m not as academic as I used to think. I enjoyed academia at a lower level and could achieve good grades. Now, it makes me feel as if I’m playing a game, working out the rules and seeing how far I can stray from them. There’s something about it that goes against Continue reading

Travelling on My Own

Wednesday 20.3.19

Hannah 1 – Travel Anxiety 0

The ten-hour train journey from Cornwall to North Wales turned out to be easy. It helps that I’ve travelled the route twice before with other people. It’s the first time I’ve been on a train on my own though!

When something causes me anxiety, the key is planning. I wrote careful lists of what to take and in which bags, kept notes about train times and station practicalities, and visualised all the changes and taxi logistics. This probably sounds obsessive (because it is, teehee). But it doesn’t keep me in a control-freak trap.

‘Obsessive’ preparation tricks my mind into believing there’s Continue reading

Weather

I went to the care home and had a chat with a lovely carer. She works hard, is kind to everyone, and always has a smile on her face.

She had brought in two puddings for my great aunt to choose between. One was a trifle in a tall sundae glass; the other a piece of Victoria sponge in a bowl, swimming in cream. My great aunt chose the Victoria sponge.

I smiled at the lady, who has a foreign accent, and said, ‘It’s lovely weather today – feels like spring!’

She hesitated Continue reading