12th February 2018
There’s a 24-year-old girl…woman, she’s a woman. She still lives at home in North Wales because there’s no reason to go elsewhere. She loves being in her room, dreaming, imagining, creating…
‘I don’t wanna go out,’ she often whimpers. She’s usually glad when she does. The people she teaches and conducts make it worthwhile, as do her friends and workout buddies.
And then home. She lives for home. It’s worth going out for the feeling she gets when she returns. She never went away for university, never spent more than a week away from her family, and never wanted to do so.
Then everything changes. She decides to stop teaching. She decides to stop conducting. She stops talking about next year and becomes uncomfortable when anyone else does. She becomes more minimalistic suddenly, throwing out anything that isn’t necessary or strongly loved. She throws out things that she never thought she could part with.
One day, it happens. A talk over coffee with Dad and Grandma.
Hannah feels something. The Land of her Fathers has always had a strong attraction.
‘I might go there,’ she says.
That ‘might’ becomes a ‘will’ as soon as the words leave her mouth, even though she can’t afford to rent a house down there. However, the big shift has happened, in her mind.
Mum already knows. As they get out of the car, she says, ‘I’ve seen this coming for a long time.’
12th June 2018
I started this blog post in the third-person because I felt like I was talking about someone else. A lot has changed in four months.
I am moving to Cornwall in September.
My great-aunt has gone into a care home. The family doesn’t want to sell her house but neither do they want it to be empty. I am going to live there for a year as a ‘house-sitter’ while I complete the second year of my Creative Writing Masters.
It’s a huge change, a challenge, the craziest thing I’ve ever done. My great-uncle lives in St Ives – apart from him and my great-aunt, I don’t know anybody there. It’s scary to think I’ll be nine hours away from friends and family. I’ll be back occasionally, of course, but I don’t know what I’ll do without The Crossfit Place and the Menai Bridge Band trombone section.
I’ve always loved Cornwall – I wrote a nostalgic blog post last year about the ‘Sense of Belonging’. It’s possible I will feel at home there. However, it’s quite likely the time away will make me realise that home is, and always will be, Anglesey.
Either way, I need to find out.