It’s not conducting a concert that worries me, or dealing with the emergency when there’s a blackout half way through, but having to phone to book the hall! It’s not going surfing that scares me, as much as the thought of having to hire a wetsuit.
I’m the same with decision-making. I can make important decisions about my future, but panic when someone asks, ‘Is that enough spaghetti?’ I don’t know what that says about me, or if everyone’s the same, but it did get me thinking: I struggle with the initial step.
My character is complicated. In some instances, I need to be firmly in my comfort zone before I have the confidence to edge slowly out of it (that’s a blog post waiting to happen!). Yet I also struggle with the little things – so occasionally I find it easier to jump in headfirst.
People sometimes think I’m brave. Scared of running? I run. Scared of cities? I go to London. But perhaps that’s less to do with bravery and more to do with those ideas being easier to digest – it’s okay for those things to be scary.
My brother took a coach to Scotland before he had even got a bus into town – maybe it’s a family trait! Or maybe it’s because the reward feels greater. Bigger goals motivate me, but I have to breathe deeply to get through the little things.