I’m a Victim

I have discovered that the best way to get myself to do something scary is to decide to do it far in advance. I booked my surfing course months ago, noticing with satisfaction that it was non-refundable. And it has been a few weeks since I booked tickets to London for Mum and me. A research trip for a novel. Tickets paid for – no way out!

It’s as if I have a casual disregard for the feelings of Future Hannah – I don’t seem to care for her comfort. Or maybe I think Future Hannah is braver than me, or has more stamina. And as the time draws closer I have a sinking feeling and become disillusioned. But by then, of course, it’s too late, and I’m forced to go through with whatever mad plan Past Hannah has concocted.

On Tuesday I got up in the middle of the night (well, 6am – still dark though) and went to a city I don’t like. The trip was sandwiched between two assignment-writing days, because obviously I’d be feeling up to working on an essay the morning after a sixteen-hour trip…Future Hannah’s great like that!

As it happens, I did manage to finish my essay, even though I was tired, and avoided getting a headache. I ending up having a nice relaxed day in London, but I wouldn’t want to be there for a significant length of time. The Present Hannah realises that she should have set her book in the Lake District in summertime, and left the city adventures to other people…

I’m the victim of my own ideas!


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